Everyone has a boss. Even if you "work for yourself," you're still an employee to your client.

A big part of maintaining the boss-employee relationship is to never allow a boss to think you dislike your work, are incapable of doing it, or--worse--consider it beneath you.

These sound like no-brainers, but many statements heard commonly around the workplace violate these basic rules. Looking for an example? Here are seven heard in workplaces all the time. They may seem ordinary, even harmless. But try reading these from your boss's point of view. You'll see right away why it's smart to never allow these seven sentences to pass your lips:

"That's not my job." You know what? A lot of bosses are simple souls who think your job is to do what's asked of you. So even if you're assigned a task that is, indeed, not your job, refrain from saying so. Instead, try to find out why your boss is assigning you this task--there may be a valid reason. If you believe that doing the task is a bad idea (as in, bad for the company) you can try explaining why and suggesting how it could be better done by someone else. This may work, depending on the boss. In any case, remember that doing what's asked of you, even tasks outside your job description, is good karma.

"It's not my problem." When people say something is not their problem it makes them look like they don't care. This does not endear them to anybody, especially the boss. If a problem is brewing and you have nothing constructive to say, it's better to say nothing at all. Even better is to pitch in and try to help. Because, ultimately, a problem in the workplace is everyone's problem. We're all in it together.

"It's not my fault." Yet another four words to be avoided. Human nature is weird. Claiming that something is not our fault often has the result of making people suspect it is. Besides, what's the real issue here? It's that something went wrong and needs to be fixed. That's what people should be thinking about--not who is to blame.

"I can only do one thing at a time." News flash: Complaining you are overworked will not make your boss feel sorry for you or go easier on you. Instead, a boss will think: (1) you resent your job, and/or (2) you aren't up to your job. Everybody, especially nowadays, feels pressured and overworked. If you're trying to be funny, please note that some sarcasm is funny and lightens the mood. Some just ticks people off.

"I am way overqualified for this job." Hey, maybe you are. But the fact is, this is the job you have. You agreed to take it on and, while you may now regret that decision, it's still your job. Complaining that it's beneath you only makes you look bad. Plus, coworkers doing similar jobs may resent and dislike you. And guess what? Bosses will not think, "Oh, this is a superior person whom I need to promote." Nope, they'll think, "What a jerk."

"This job is easy! Anyone could do it!" Maybe what you're trying to convey here is that you're so brilliant your work is easy. Unfortunately, it comes off sounding more like, "This work is stupid." Bosses don't like hearing that any work is stupid. Nor do they really like hearing that a job is easy peasy. It belittles the whole enterprise. If a task is simple, be glad and do it as quickly as you can. Even "stupid" work needs to get done.

"It can't be done." Saying something can't be done is like waving a red flag in a boss's eyes. Even if the thing being suggested truly is impossible, saying it is can make you look ineffectual or incapable. Better to play detective. Why is the boss asking you to do whatever it is? What's the problem that needs to be solved? What's the goal? Search for doable ways of solving that problem or reaching that goal. That's what bosses really want. Most of them do not expect the impossible.

Last words: When in doubt, remember that silence really is golden.

Some companies schedule year-end performance reviews for their employees, and these can help tremendously. But if your company doesn’t, or you are self-employed or not employed right now, you can do your own year-end review.

Since finding the time for contemplative thought is often difficult, especially this time of year, here’s a suggested plan for splitting up the job into three shorter mini-sessions. (Note: Whether you do your year-end review by yourself or with someone else is up to you. Some people do their best thinking alone in an empty room; some benefit from the input of a mentor, friend, or loved one. Your call.)

Mini-session No. 1: Take a couple of hours to collect some “artifacts” from your year of work. These can include your 2009 appointment calendar, pay stubs, notes from talks or presentations you’ve made, HR performance reviews, awards you’ve won, receipts from professional luncheons you’ve attended, letters/memos of complaint, programs from conferences you’ve attended or courses you’ve completed, your resume, cover letters for jobs you’ve applied for, rejection letters, thank-you notes, invoices, memos announcing new business, spread sheets of sales figures, or lists of clients won or lost. You won’t have all of these—each person’s artifacts will be different. The idea here is to gather some tangible evidence of your work life in 2009 and use it as a thinking tool.

Mini-session No. 2: Next, evaluate the artifacts. This is a two-step process. First, make a list of all the items you collected. Next to each item, write down the “lesson learned.” Just use a few words or a phrase, and write the first thing that occurs to you. For example, next to “clients won or lost” you could write “learned that I should not have stopped giving free estimates.” Next to “appointment calendar,” you might write “learned that scheduling meetings for one hour before close of business kept the meetings on track.” You might have more than one lesson learned for an item. That’s OK.

Second, divide your list of lessons in two: negatives and positives. A negative might be losing out on new business because you didn’t get the proposal in on time, or receiving a bad performance review because of disorganization or tardiness. A positive might be the 10 new contacts you made as a result of joining that networking group, or the raise you got because customers wrote letters of appreciation to your boss. Put these two new lists aside.

Mini-session No. 3: Take out your negative and positive lists. For the negatives, can you identify any fixes? Think in terms of new skills or certifications, better organization, improved bookkeeping, stepped-up networking—things that, if you had been doing them, you might not have suffered said setbacks. Write that idea next to the item. For the positives, give yourself a pat on the back, consider how you might do even more of whatever it was you did right, and write that down, too.

Guess what? You have just evaluated an entire year of your work life. You’ve identified specific areas that need improvement, and brainstormed specific ideas for improving them. You’ve reminded yourself of your successes, which is a confidence booster, and you’ve thought of ways to leverage those successes.

How do people find mentors anyway? Is it as simple as just asking?

Well, pretty much. You choose someone you think would be a good mentor and then ask, "Would you consider a mentoring relationship with me?"

But wait! Before you do that, optimize your chances and check out these tips:

1. Be clear on why you want a mentor. Are you looking for someone to offer specific advice? Do you want a conduit to your industry’s movers and shakers? Or do you just need a sounding board?

2. Define your personality and communication style. What kind of mentor would best complement you? You may choose someone who’s your opposite (an extrovert to your introvert, for example), or someone in whom you see yourself (and vice versa).

3. When asking someone to be your mentor, explain why you’re asking and what you’d expect out of the relationship (see No. 1). Name your reasons for approaching this particular person. Don’t be afraid to be flattering (e.g. “I’m asking you because you are the most successful person I know”).

4. A mentor is a powerful role model. Look for someone who has the kind of life and work you’d like to have. Also, choose a mentor you truly respect. Don’t just go for the biggest name you can find.

5. Before asking someone to be your mentor, consider first simply asking for input on a single specific topic. How did that go? Was it good advice? Was it delivered in a way that made sense to you, and filled you with confidence and energy?

6. Look for ways you can reciprocate the help your mentor offers. At the very least, you can occasionally spring for lunch or, say, send a fruit basket. You don’t want to be all take-take-take.

7. Show gratitude. Never let your mentor feel taken for granted! Also, supply feedback. If your mentor suggested something that really worked out for you, report back. People love hearing about their part in a success story.

8. When looking for a mentor, think beyond former bosses and professors. Look to older family members or friends, neighbors, spiritual leaders, community leaders, the networks of your friends and colleagues, or officials of professional or trade associations you belong to. Avoid asking your direct supervisor at work. You want to be free to discuss workplace issues as well as your plans for future advancement.

9. Keep in mind that mentoring can take many forms. It can be a monthly lunch, a quarterly phone call, a weekly handball game, or merely a steady E-mail correspondence. Your mentor does not even have to live in your city or region.

10. Many mentors derive pleasure from “molding” someone in their own images—great for them and great for you if you want to be molded. But beware of mentors who are too bossy, controlling, or judgmental. This is your path, not theirs.

11. Don’t become too dependent on your mentor. The idea is that one day you will eventually be able to fly on your own. In fact, you may not take every bit of advice your mentor offers. Continue to think for yourself.

12. Guess what: You’re allowed to have more than one mentor. In fact, you can have a whole committee if you want, and call it your Board of Directors. Choose different mentors for different facets of your professional (and even personal) life.

13. Finally, if you ask someone to be your mentor and that person refuses, don’t be hurt or offended. This is not personal! Potential good mentors are very busy people. Thank him or her for the consideration, and ask for a referral.

If you study the trajectories of successful people, you’ll see that most of them had considerable help along the way. A mentor can be a boon to any career. So why deprive yourself? Go out and get a mentor of your own.

Scary thought: You probably spend more hours of the day with your work colleagues than with any other group of human beings. And the great majority of the time you don’t even get to choose them. You all have different backgrounds, ages, and interests and yet you need to function well and smoothly with these people.

1. Heads up. When people talk to you, don’t continue tapping away at your keyboard. Instead, give the person the gift of your undivided attention, if only for a minute. It sounds like a small thing. But the art of truly paying attention is a dying art, and if you excel at it you will stand out.

2. Listen actively. Many people don’t express themselves well. You may need to look beneath the surface of their words to get to the core of what they’re trying to say. Be a little patient, and don’t interrupt, or jump on small mistakes.

3. Show (sincere) interest. You may not want to be BFFs with your cubicle mate but it won’t kill you to ask, “How was your weekend?” Listen for a couple of minutes, and then turn back to the work at hand. Now, was that so hard?

4. Assume goodwill. Most people are sincerely trying to do a good job. So no matter how stupid or incompetent or misguided your colleagues’ actions might be, consider the possibility that they believed they were doing the right thing at the time. Try to look at the situation from their perspectives. You might learn something. At the very least, you’ll earn their gratitude.

5. Share credit. Even if a success was all your idea you will look like even more of a winner if you share the glory. Besides, does anybody really ever accomplish something entirely on their own?

6. Be open to the possibility that you might be wrong. Hey, it’s possible. At least accept that there’s room for improvement. Your ideas and work will benefit from the input of others. Really.

7. Honor your commitments. Be the kind of person who says he’ll have the report done by Tuesday and has it done by Tuesday. Reliability and integrity not only make you look good, they’re contagious and will contribute to a constructive work environment.

8. Show appreciation. Even though it may be someone’s job to supply you with, say, paper clips, when that person delivers the paper clips, say “thank you.” It costs you nothing, and it fosters an atmosphere of civility.

9. Speak to others in a clear, direct, respectful, pleasant, and positive way. It inspires your coworkers to treat you likewise.

10. Finally, don’t expect to like everybody. And don’t expect everybody to like you. As with any group of people, you’re going to get along with some better than others, and there may be a few you just can’t stand. Be tolerant. Pick your battles. Sometimes it’s just enough that the work gets done.

Before You Give Notice:

1. First and foremost, if you’re leaving for another job, have the offer for your new job in writing. Make sure everything is absolutely a “go.”

2. Get your work up to date, and organize it in a way others will be able to understand. Don’t leave messy, half-finished projects for your soon-to-be-former-coworkers to clean up. You wouldn’t want people to do it to you.

3. Erase your digital footprints. If you have any personal stuff on the company computer, now is the time to remove it. Clear your browser cache, remove passwords, and delete all personal email.

4. Check company guidelines. You’ll want to know your company’s policy for giving notice so you can do it right. Also check to see if you have any unused vacation or comp time coming to you, or if there are any other policies regarding resignation.

When You Give Notice:

1. Tell your boss before you tell anyone else, and do so in private and in person. Make an appointment. Know in advance what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it.

2. Display some regret. If you hated the job or the boss you may be tempted to vent your feelings at this point. Please resist. The moment you leave a job your boss ceases to be your boss and begins to be part of your network. And you should always treat your network like gold.

3. Volunteer to train your replacement or otherwise help to make the transition easier. More often than not, your employer will not take you up on this, but it’s just good manners to offer.

4. You’ll be giving notice as per your company policy (if your employer has no policy, two weeks is still standard), but be prepared to be escorted out that very day. This is actually required practice at some companies. Try not to take it personally.

After You Give Notice:

1. Follow up your in-person meeting with a written letter of resignation, stating you’re resigning as of such and such a date. Try to say something positive about how much you enjoyed the job. If you didn’t enjoy the job, you can at least say you learned a lot working there. (You learned you never want to work there again!)

2. Do not brag to coworkers about how happy you are to be leaving, how great your next job is going to be, how much more money you’ll be making, etc. Do not make off with the company stapler (it’s tacky, and could easily get caught on a security camera).

3. Ask for a letter of recommendation. Do this even if you already have a new job lined up. You can add it to your portfolio.

4. Continue to do a good job, right up to the last day, even the last hour. This is the mark of true professionalism. It’s a small world. Someday you might find yourself back at this same company, or working for one of your former coworkers.

For a good example of a job sign-off, take a look at Conan O’Brien’s last words upon leaving The Tonight Show. Now that’s class.